How to avoid manipulation of criticism

Everyone understands that such relationships need to get rid of. But how? Can't you leave your job because of an unethical colleague? Where is the guarantee that this will not be the case at another? And so the bosses and all the "one world Mazan." And you won't run away from your husband just because he criticizes.

It is important to understand why they do it. Based on many studies, experts have deduced some patterns in the behavior of critics and their victims.

Why colleagues are criticized.They may assert themselves at the expense of you, may be vampires who want to feed off your negative reaction to criticism, may simply be tactless. Should I respond to the statements of such people? The best way out is not to give them what they want so badly: your negative reaction and your emotions. Let yourself rage, and where are you? We keep the vector of good mood and do not succumb to provocations!

Why criticizes the boss. Here the first point fully fits, plus the super-demand of some superior persons is still added. It is also possible that he sees you as a competitor if you are able to do the work of his level. In this case, it is important to remember one important thing. Whatever it was and no matter how he mocked, there is a law of hierarchy, according to which he must be respected subordinates. Just because it is responsible for a more complex area of ​​work. And to resist such criticism is possible only with the help of absolute inner calm, which can be trained. Then the chief will no longer need to get you - it will not be interesting to him, because there will be no reaction.

Why criticizes husband. This, incidentally, applies to all loved ones. As a rule, they resort to manipulation of criticism when they can not express something directly in the eye. If the husband grumbles about the Internet - it means he lacks your attention, delicious food or sex. He knows that after long battles on the World Wide Web his wife will fall down and fall asleep quickly, without giving him his caress. He can't say that directly. Perhaps he wanted to go somewhere together or go to his mother.The options are many, and each time the reason for the criticism may be different. In this case, you just need to be more attentive to your family: ask what they want, plan a weekend and just communicate more in order to better understand each other.

Biased criticism

However, if the manipulation is too outspoken, the criticism is unfair and is aimed only at meeting someone’s selfish needs, she needs to be able to resist.

The best way is to agree with the criticism: “Yes, you are probably right, I spent too long on the Internet. But I needed it. " If objections will follow - again agree with them. And so on until the flow of claims runs out. The critic will understand that his tricks do not work.

It is better to use this method with the boss carefully, but you can even apply the grotesque with your colleagues and encourage them: “Yes, you have no idea - I am even worse than you think.” Or: “Yes, in this dress I like a cow, I don’t like it myself”. Stupor your colleague provided. There is one more powerful trick - to ask a direct question: “Why are you telling me this?”. By this you will show that you guess the true intentions of the critic, but he does not want that at all.

All of the above refers precisely to manipulation through criticism. And if the comments addressed to you are right - the approach should be different.


Date: 11.10.2018, 11:57 / Views: 44572

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